Is It Too Late?
by scabbedangel
Summary: Kim's thoughts after she gives Jimmy back the ring.


Disclaimer- I don't own Third Watch or any of it's characters.

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Kim sat at her kitchen table. Today seemed to go on forever. She wanted it to go by faster than it had. Especially since her and Jimmy had to work together almost all day. It was so hard being around him. She loved him so much. She did want to marry him. But she was so scared. Every time her and Jimmy would try to be together again, he'd hurt her somehow. She had to give him back the ring. She did the right thing. She couldn't forget the look on Jimmy's face when she put the ring back in his hand. He gave her his love and she threw it back in his face. She felt like such a horrible person right now. She couldn't stop thinking about how Jimmy would screw things up and hurt her again. But he didn't. This time she ruined things between them and she had hurt him. For the first time today she had seen tears in Jimmy's eyes. Maybe he really did love her.

She hated this. Now she was feeling guilty. Jimmy really had changed this time. It wasn't just words he was saying to get into her pants this time. She trusted him, but she kept on reminding herself of the past. She kept remembering all of the pain Jimmy had put her through. She tried really hard to forget about it. But she couldn't. He had hurt her too many times. She had seen how much Jimmy had changed. But part of her couldn't forget, couldn't let go.

Today at work was so hard for her. But she could tell that it was harder for Jimmy. She remembered seeing the hurt, lost look in his eyes whenever she would look at him. She hated being that close to him after just ripping his heart out a few hours ago. She felt so guilty and so bad for doing that to him. Her and Jimmy worked so hard to get back what they had had before Jimmy had slept with her sister. They actually got better. She never thought that she could love him more than she had at first. Then she got scared and ran. That was what she did best. Whenever she felt insecure about something she'd leave so she wouldn't have to deal with it or try to fix it. She hurt so many people by doing that.

She also had no idea what or when she was going to tell Joey about all of this. He was so happy when her and Jimmy told him that they were back together. She didn't want to tell Joey. He would be so disappointed. She wanted so badly to give Joey a normal family and an unbroken home. When her and Jimmy were back together again it seemed like she would finally be able to give Joey what he's wanted since the divorce. She felt like she was taking that away from him. She didn't want to hurt Joey or Jimmy. She loved them both. She just hoped that they both understood why she did this.

Jimmy was great. She would never be able to find anyone better or as good as him. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get over him. But she didn't want to forget about him or all that they have been through. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to marry him. She wanted her, Jimmy, and Joey to be a family again. Things were just so confusing for her right now. She really had to think about things and figure out what she really wanted and what was best for her. And that she really didn't know right now. She probably never did know what she wanted. She just seemed to do whatever she had to and what other people expected her to do.

Jimmy really had changed. He used to expect her to clean up his messes and take care of his debts. He expected to have her whenever he was down and needed her because she kept going back to him. And she used to be happy to drop everything just to do those things for him in hopes that he would give her the love that she needed. Now all he wanted from her was love and for her to marry him. She hoped he knew that he didn't do anything wrong and that she loved him more than anything. But what she said made it sound like it was his fault. She didn't really leave him because of what he said. That was just an excuse she gave him to hide why she really left him. She didn't want him to know the truth. The truth was she was scared and she wasn't supposed to be. She was supposed to trust him and give him the chance that he deserves. But she couldn't.

Now that she though about it, she wasn't really anymore. She saw that Jimmy had changed and that he wouldn't hurt her. And this time he wanted to marry her. She knew now that she ahd made a mistake. She should have never left Jimmy. She knew that he would never hurt her. But she had hurt him. She could tell by the look in his eyes and the tone in his voice whenever he talked to her today. She wanted to be with him, but would he still want her? She doubted he would. She told him that she loved him and trusted him only to leave him and hurt him. He deserved better than her. But she still ahd to try and get him back. She couldn't just give up, forget, and let him go. She couldn't let him move on. She knew what she had to do. She had to tell Jimmy the truth. He had to know that she wanted to be with him. She just hoped it wasn't too late.

The End

A/N- I'm thinking about doing another one about this in Jimmy's Point of view.


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